Thoughts on a food fight

So we have entered a new stage with Anna: a departure from her previous unquestioning obedience and acceptance of what we put in front of her. This has so far only come up at meal time and bath time; meal time in that she has developed likes and dislikes for certain foods, and bath time in that she doesn't want to get out. This is very new and unlike our previous mild-mannered, obedient child! Yesterday when Mark started to get her out of the tub, she started flailing around and kicking water everywhere, and when he laid her down on her towel and wrapped her up, she got this (admittedly adorable and hilarious!) pouty face and wouldn't look at him.

I am still trying to figure out what approach I want to take with her when she pouts or throws a mini-fit ... I obviously want her to understand the role of child and parent, and how obedience and respect play into that relationship. But I don't want to entirely stifle her ability to say no and assert her opinion, because at some point down the road I want her to be able to stand up for herself! I read recently that her ability to say no to peer pressure and bad influences in the future depends on her having the freedom to say no earlier in her life as well. I don't think I subscribe to this view, because on the one hand she is acting out of obedience to a higher influence than the one that is tempting her, and on the other hand she's placing her own wishes and feelings over her obedience to me. So I don't think that if I stress obedience when she's young, she's going to end up rebelling and giving in to all kinds of awful temptations as soon as she's faced with them! My intention is definitely to raise children who are well-mannered and obedient, and can respect my God-given authority over them even when it clashes with their own desires. However, I do want them to know that I will take into consideration their preferences and opinions when I'm interacting with them, and I don't want to shape our kids' personalities into something that's rooted in legalism and fear of punishment. I want them to know and experience grace and forgiveness as part of their daily lives, because that is how my Father is raising me!

I know this may all sound a little heavy, bearing in mind I started this blog talking about bath/meal-times and we've had a total of about 3 little fits so far! But something else I read recently that I definitely do subscribe to is that when parents raise their children, they need to do so bearing in mind the kind of adult they are aiming to see their child become. All of the little choices we make when we raise Anna and discipline her, and the little habits we develop in our interactions with her, will have an effect on the adult she will one day become. That kind of makes me want to do it right! How do parents cope who don't have the perfect Parent to follow....?

I am no longer married....

... to an INTERN!!

As of July 1st, Mark is a second year resident. This will mean a slightly lighter schedule, less call at the hospital, a (marginally) larger paycheque each month, and more time at home! This would be a little more exciting if his first weekend as a second year wasn't his call weekend for this month ... but that's ok. He has a month of working 8-5, with some half days sprinkled in there, so we're not complaining :)

The last weekend of June was the annual Image Summer Retreat - a weekend away to welcome the incoming interns, send off the graduating third years, catch up with returning alumni and enjoy the pool and lake at the retreat center! This is Anna with one of her little friends that came to hang out with us for a couple hours during the retreat so her parents could take the older kids horseback riding! It is so much fun watching Anna interact with other kids now - her personality definitely emerges more strongly when she's playing.

In all honesty, I actually have kind of mixed feelings about the retreat; we usually end up more tired at the end than we were at the start and don't get to spend a whole lot of time together because of various meetings the residents have to attend, but it's still a fun weekend.

And speaking of fun weekends ... happy 4th of July to those of you who celebrate it! It's kind of a funny holiday for me, but hey - I'll take it if it means parties and an extra day off for Mark :)

Chillaxing

Well, summer is definitely here! I don't remember the last time I was able to take the babies outside for their morning walk - it's already so hot and humid by the time morning naps are over that I just can't bear the thought of wearing my Moby wrap and lugging Anna while pushing Riah in the stroller! To compensate for walking, though, we've been swimming a lot recently; Mark's parents put a pool in in the fall, and it's definitely added to the reasons I'm glad we still live within 4 miles of their house! Anna LOVES the water, and I'm probably going to get her a little inflatable pool to put on our back patio so she can swim here too. Mark's schedule this month has been surprisingly nice, considering the fact that he's technically working nights. He works an overnight on Sunday, sleeps all day Monday, then works a 24 hour shift from Monday night till Tuesday night. Then he's home all day Wed/Thurs, and has clinic Friday mornings. We're loving having him around! We've gone swimming, taken Anna to the Aquarium using our family pass that Mark got her for Christmas (which she loves at least as much as swimming), grilled, watched lots of good World Cup football - this is made more awesome by the fact that Anna has a little England shirt! - had picnics together ... as Calvin and Hobbes would say, "The days are just packed!" :)

We're starting to look for tickets to England for the fall - very exciting (though somewhat pricier than when Mark and I routinely flew back and forth before getting married!), mainly because the reason for our trip is that Steph is getting married! We're super excited, both for Steph and Adam, and just to be back in England again :)

Anna seems to have had a 'developmental growth spurt' recently; all of a sudden she is very good at walking only holding ONE of our hands instead of clutching both for dear life, she talks pretty much all day and sounds just like us (with intonation, phrases of differing lengths, different 'words' that mean different things etc), she will happily play by herself in her play-yard for a good 25-30 minutes, and I think the amount that she understands is rapidly increasing. We often play "where's Anna.... there she is!", and have done that for months now, but all of a sudden when we substitute in other words for Anna she can find Mama, Dada, Sushi (her fish), her blankie, her tiger, her books.... and is good at following commands. It is crazy to me the rate at which her little mind is developing and expanding. I LOVE getting to watch that all day!

Well, I need to go shower my poolwater off so we can go out for sushi (uh ... actual sushi. This could become a problem!) when Mark gets back from doing manly man things at Lowes. As I said - the days are just packed :)