Help

A couple weeks ago, I posted some of my thoughts on the season of learning that I and my family are in (you can read the post here). I described feeling vulnerable, not being in control, and facing the choice between giving up (easy to do, but results in continued incompetence) and persevering (the more difficult road, but one which brings growth, character and hope).

Since writing that post, a few things have taken place to give more shape to my learning.  I got a GI bug that has been going around and was totally dependent on Mark for about two days; our sister-in-law Tiffany came and spent two weeks to help after Lucy was born; Lucy became the all-time fussiest baby I have ever taken care of, especially when we're out in public (actually, second fussiest - I once nannied for a family whose youngest could probably out-fuss her!); and Anna spent the night throwing up. Not just any night - the night we had no power and therefore no lights or water, which somewhat complicated the clean-up efforts!

What do these events have in common that is shaping me right now?  They all involved other people helping me, because I needed it.

When I was sick, it was about all I could do to feed and change Lucy.  Mark took care of the entire rest of our lives and praise God it was a weekend when he wasn't on call!
Tiff flew half way around the world because she knew I was out of my familiar environment, trying to figure out how, in my sleep deprived state, to take care of three kids instead of two, and wanted to help.
Every time we have taken Lucy out to a Kudjip 'event' of some kind, there are many people willing to hold her - sleeping or fussy - to give me a break.  (As an aside, this could - and may at some point - be a whole blog post on its own; my oldest two, it seems, spoiled me and allowed me to coast through my first five years of parenting without truly facing much challenging behaviour!)
And when they found out Anna had been sick all over her bed, Levi's bed and multiple people's pyjamas, two of my neighbours immediately told me they'd come pick up all my laundry and take care of it so I wouldn't have to juggle extra chores and a sick child.

Leaning on others and receiving help is not something that comes easily to me.  I know people who are so gracious in this area - they ask for help when they need it, they cheerfully receive the help that is offered ... and I am so not one of those people!  I am self-sufficient, in control, able to figure it out on my own - and deluded, often tired and prone to grumpiness!!

But today, because help was offered and received, my heart is filled with thanks instead of fretting over the insurmountable post-sick-child to-do list.  When I admit I need help, my pride takes a hit.  I'm not self-sufficient after all.  But when my heart is humbled, I am able to receive the love being shown to me by the community I am in, and that is a precious gift I don't want to miss.